No one ever said being a mom would be easy, and in recent years, evidence has shown that postpartum depression is a REAL thing! I myself have struggled (ok, still struggling) with PPD. But let me tell you, NO ONE TOLD ME I WOULD NEVER BE ALONE...EVER!
If you're a mom, you are currently side smiling and nodding your head emphatically. If you're not a mother (i.e. single or a man) you have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about. Even now... the house is quiet, the first born is in her room playing, my husband is taking a nap before work(yeah I don't know what those are) my youngest is currently NOT watching the movie I set up for him, but fighting with me to get my shirt off so he can nurse. I frankly, don't know how I just typed out that sentence as I literally was physically fighting him off... he's so strong. 💪😧.
I would give anything to just have 20 mins to myself to take a long shower without a child asking, nay, demanding my attention. Or screaming outside the bathroom door until I let them in. The firstborn will literally pass by her father, who is doing NOTHING at that moment and find me whilst I'm naked out of the shower trying desperately to find an outfit that makes me feel like "me" again and won't show too much cleavage, but will somehow allow me easy access to them as I still nurse my son... (yeah😑) She will scream for me to ask a question that could have easily been answered by her father...but no, "mom" will always have the answer.
I saw a commercial where a mother was in the bathroom on the floor enjoying a cookie... a knock at the door, "Mommy?" A little voice asks.
"Its Dad." The mother lies, in a deep voice. The child leaves her alone and she is left in peace to have a moment of "self care" or "me" time.
Has it really come to this? We have to make up stories just to have a moment alone. I almost feel like I have to ask "permission" to be alone. That's the difference between moms and dads sometimes. Moms almost feel guilty when we want to just disconnect from our kids/family and dads just take the time, they don't ask, they don't "check with you" they just go to the bathroom. No one bothers them, no one demands their time. The problem is, moms make themselves so readily available to everyone that it's nearly impossible for them to disconnect, to get those moments of peace. If you don't take those moments you will go insane, or like me, sink deeper into a depression that's hard to climb out of. Now, I'm not saying you have to peace out on your kids all the time. Im Just saying, that it's is very important for your sanity and peace of mind to take those moments throughout the day. Make yourself feel loved and appreciated through some self care. You can't be a whole mom if you just half take care of yourself. (I'm speaking to myself on this one)
I love our kids, I love our family. I'm madly in love with my husband. But sometimes I get extremely envious of how simple it is for him to disconnect and have "him" time. I find myself snapping at him and/or the kids when I've waited too long to take that time. I just need to learn that HE CAN watch the kids without me asking. I CAN walk away without feeling like I have to schedule an activity to occupy them the 10 mins I will be away. THEY WILL BE FINE.
It's time we take so more ME time, so we can be better at WE time.