I have been behind on my blog/recipes posts for the past two months. I've tried my best to keep up with my test kitchen. Trying new recipes and new styles of cooking. But to be quite frank, I'm exhausted. Even as I type this, Puffin Rock is playing on the tablet next to the computer screen and a toddler is sitting on my lap whilst eagerly watching his favorite show.
As a type "A" personality, I want to be able to "do it all", but, it's nearly impossible these days. When I was single, napping was the furthest thing from my mind. But now, as a wife and mother of two, naps have become my best friend (when I can get them). Since my eldest (bonus daughter) has entered my life, sleep and I have started a long distance relationship. And since pregnancy, we rarely see each other. All night long I'm thinking of all the chores, and errands I need to do. All the while, I'm trying to hear out for both kids. "Is the baby crying?" "Did she just fall out of her bed?!" (yes, I've had those actual thoughts). And what makes it even harder, my husband works third shift and has a second job. So feeling like a single parent has become the platform of this life we call ours.
Why are you so tired? You may ask? Here's what a day in our life looks like:
5:30am I wake up, rather I get up, because I've already been awake since my husband left at midnight. The baby is soon to follow.
6:45am I wake the eldest up. Then head to the kitchen to make breakfast and lunch boxes
7:30am We all eat and talk to my mom on video chat.
8-8:25am Bible lesson study or catch up of homework from the night before.
8:30am Head to school to drop off the eldest.
9am The youngin and I get home and he finishes his nap (hopefully) or we head to the grocery store to stock up for the week.
10-10:30am I have school with the lil man and we have "outside time" or a reading circle.
12pm Nap time (hopefully) and I do church work or blog. (I am the communications director and music leader at our church, not to mention a deaconess)
1:30pm Play time
2:00pm Snack time
2:30pm Run errands and if by some miracle there are no errands to run I get a break. But let's note: A "break" with a toddler, is no break at all.
4pm Pick up the eldest from school and then if its that particular day of the week she has her horse riding lessons. Which means we will not get home until 7pm, but my husband is usually gracious enough to get takeaway for dinner.
5pm Make dinner and yell at the kids to stop messing with each other. Yes, even though they are 8 years apart, they still seem to get on each other's nerves.
6pm Eat dinner and make sure that the eldest has all of her information for homework and she will be completing it sometime that evening.
7pm Sit for a minute or two and help the eldest with homework before the youngest starts pawing at me to nurse screaming "night night" to go to bed.
7:30pm I may or may not fall asleep with the youngin.
8:45pm My alarm goes off to make sure I'm awake to make sure the eldest has finished her homework and she's on her route to head to bed. (she has a nightly checklist)
9pm I crawl into bed and attempt to fall asleep.
10:45pm My alarm goes off for my husband's sake to make sure he wakes up for his shift. And if by some miracle, I'm still asleep my husband wakes me up at midnight to say "goodbye"
12:01am I lie in bed and go over my life choices.
1am I check my facebook (ever notice my updates are at the bewitching hour?)
2-3am The youngin wakes up from a dream and needs to- no, DEMANDS to be cuddled.
3-4am Silence, and I sleep for a wee bit.
5:30am My day starts all over again.
So as you can see. As a stay-at-home-mom, I do not sit around eating bon-bons all day. I'm exhausted, but I wouldn't want it any other way. I may be tired and I may not get to see my husband for days at a time (passing ships) But I wouldn't change it for the world. I love being here seeing all the growth my lil' man has done that day. Or being able to make breakfast, lunch and dinner for my family. Or being able to pick my girl up from school so she doesn't have to ride the bus. So next time a woman tells you she's a stay-at-home-mom, THINK before you say "Oh you're so lucky, you get to sleep in" (I've actually had someone say this to me before) No my friend. I have worked harder being at home than I EVER did in the corporate world. And I am tired. Very, very tired. Maybe when you see a mom looking overwhelmed, haggard and just plain tired go to her and say "You are doing awesome." She may need to hear it that day.